it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
