Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Even my vagina gasped.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
