I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
