So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
