Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
