I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
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Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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