I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
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don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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