Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
