he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My vagina is officially offended.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
