Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
