i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
