The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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