I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
