tell your sister to shave her snatch
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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