Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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