I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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