I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
