Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I fill condoms, not promises.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
