I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
