...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
