i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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