Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
