how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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