I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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