are you still at the devil's house?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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