gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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