also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
