im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
