My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
