Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
