Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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