she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
