Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
