Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize