people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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