Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
