I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
