absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
