Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize