He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
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And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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