Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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