my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
