Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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