:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
