like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
