gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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