Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
