Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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