Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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