Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
