With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
