i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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