the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize