we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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