I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
