I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
