i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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