You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
